Tournament of Awesome

I am a participant in the Tournament of Awesome, Chicago's premiere sporting event of champions, pitting the relative merits of Softball and Ping-Pong.

It is laughable to even suggest that Ping-Pong could rival Softball, the sport of noble-blooded stalwarts of the Diamond. Ping-pong is but a sport played by beggars and ruffians in wood-paneled basements that smell of must and all-weather carpeting.

The mighty "pitchersbane" is prepared for battle.